Clark's Ice Cream
by softballchic1007
Summary: Clois fic. Lois stays with Clark for Met U's Spring Break while his parents are gone on vacation. It is a really good fic. Please read. Clois Rocks!
1. Alone in the Kent House

Spoilers: None.

Pairing: Duh! Lois and Clark. The couple that is meant to be together forever. Clois Rocks.

Genre: Romance and humor

Summary: Lois is invited to spend spring break with the Kents. Jonathan and Martha go on a little vacation leaving Lois and Clark alone for a whole two weeks. They think they can trust Clark alone with Lois. They should think again.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. If I did it would be Tom Welling and I definitely would not be writing this story. I would be doing things I should not speak of with him.

Reviews: Greatly appreciated.

Alone in the Kent House 

Clark ran out of his house when he heard the sound of a car coming down the drive. He knew it would be Lois. He couldn't believe it when his parents told him that they had invited her to stay with them for Spring Break. It didn't help that Met U's Spring Break lasted for two weeks and Smallville High's only lasted for one. As Lois cut the engine and stepped out of her car he couldn't help but grin at the thought that, now that his parents weren't going to be here he could annoy the hell out of her. Boy would she be surprised that his parents weren't going to be here. At that thought his grin widened.

"Hey Smallville do you think you could maybe get your lazy ass up here and help me with my bags!" Lois yelled.

Same old Lois. He couldn't have helped but wish that somehow her brain had gotten swapped with someone's whose was more likable. He guessed there was no such luck.

He struggled to lift Lois's heavy suitcase. "What have you got in here Lois? Bricks."

"I need lots of clothes. Got a problem with it Farmboy?" Lois asked.

"No, just wondering. Do you have to be so touchy?" he asked.

Just then Martha rushed out of the house followed closely by Jonathan. "I'm sorry Lois, but there was this really good price on a vacation we saw in the newspaper, and we couldn't pass it up. We are truly sorry but Clark will make you feel at home."

Martha kissed Clark on the cheek and said, "Well then we are off. Bye you two."

"You mean to say you are leaving me all alone with Clark. Nobody else but us." Lois asked.

"Yes, is that a problem?" Martha wondered.

"Uh no. Just wondering." Lois answered.

"Yeah. Don't worry. I don't bite." Clark said with a sexy smirk.

That's not what I am afraid of, Lois thought. I am afraid I might want you too.

After the Kents left Lois and Clark wandered back into the house. It was almost dark so Lois said she was going to go put on her pajamas. She started to head towards his parents' bedroom.

"No, you are going to sleep in my bed. My parents don't really like anyone to sleep in their bed so you are going to sleep in my room and I will take the couch." Clark said.

"How gentlemanly of you Smallville. Didn't know you had it in you." Lois said.

After Lois had put on her pajamas, which consisted of a long-sleeved white shirt with a hood that showed her pierced belly button and a pair of short shorts that were green and white plaid.

"Nice to see that I am not the only young person who likes to wear plaid in this town." Clark exclaimed.

"Don't get your hopes up Kent. These are the only thing plaid I own." Lois retorted.

"I hope you can do without me for a few minutes while I put the cows back out into the field." Clark said.

"I think I can manage," said Lois.

After Clark had returned he said, "While you might think that farm work is a piece of cake, it really is a hard job. In fact why don't I show you? Tomorrow we get up, and I will show you just how hard it is and see if you can hack it."

"It's a deal Smallville. And then the next day we can go to Metropolis and I can take you shopping for some new clothes, and you will have you do everything I ask of you. Within reason of course." Lois said.

"You got yourself a deal Lane." Said Clark.

"Hey, I thought I was the one who was supposed to come up with all the nicknames." Lois exclaimed.

"You can't win them all" Clark retorted.

Right that second it started to pour down rain. It thundered and lightning flashed through the sky. Lois and Clark stared at each other and each saw something reflected in the other's eyes. They both rushed to the door and ran out into the rain.

"Whooh!" Lois screamed.

Clark began to laugh. Who would have thought that such a simple pleasure could make Lois Lane seem normal?

All of a sudden a thought struck Clark, and he began to run towards the barn. Lois began to shout at him, but he was back within a minute.

"What have you got there Smallville? Lois asked.

"Ever played something called one on one with a basketball Lois? Clark asked.

"Ha ha Kent very funny. As a matter of fact, I am quite awesome at it." Lois said while grinning.

"I sure hope so," Clark said while running.

They began laughing as they played basketball during the storm. Pretty soon they were both worn out. They trekked inside. Clark said, "Wait right here while I get you some clean clothes."

When he came back Lois said, "Those aren't my clothes."

"I didn't want to go through your things so I just got one of my plaid shirts out of my room." Clark told her.

"Oh okay." Lois uttered.

She put on the shirt Clark offered her and realized that it smelled really good. It smelled like sweat, cologne, and a unique scent that was Clark's own. Umm this shirt smells really good. I wonder if Clark really smells like this?

"Hey Lois want some of my unique ice-cream?" Clark asked.

'What do you mean unique?" Lois asked suspiciously.

" I mean I make it myself. I add different things to it to make it my own. No other ice cream tasted the same as mine.

"Sure I will have some. What do you call it?" Lois asked.

Clark blushed," Um….Uh….I call it Clark's Ice Cream."

"Real original Smallville, real original." Lois said laughing.

That made Clark blush even redder.

"Oh that was some good ice cream Kent some good ice cream. I think I am going to go to bed now." Lois said.

"Thanks. Me too. Let me go and make it up. Mom washed the sheets just this morning."

Clark went up to his room and made up the bed. Lois climbed into the bed and Clark blurted out without thinking, "You look good in my bed."

Lois just looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Um…Yeah I didn't mean it like--," Clark stuttered.

"—that. Yeah Smallville I know. Goodnight….Clark." Lois said.

Clark smiled. She called him Clark. To get the last word in he hollered up at her as he took off his shirt. "Don't forget we have got formwork to do tomorrow Lois. I'll wake you up bright and early."

He laughed as he drifted off to sleep. Yeah she wouldn't be called him Clark for long. Not after he got done with her tomorrow anyway.

Up in Clark's room the only thought Lois was entertaining was, "I wonder if Clark tastes as good as he looks, and if he tastes exactly like his ice cream. If he does I understand why all the women want him."

With that last thought Lois drifted off into a sleep filled with ice cream and naked farm boys.

A/N. I wonder what the next day will hold. Hehehehe! Hope y'all enjoy. Please review.


	2. A Day in the Life of Clark

A Day in the Life of Clark

Mooooooo! Moooooo!

What is that noise? Where is it coming from? It sounds like a cow mooing! Lois Lane slowly woke up from a sleep filled with dreams of naked farmboys. She looked over on the other side of the bed and found a grinning Clark holding up an alarm that looked like a cow. Oh my God! So that was the mooing sound.

Clark grinned and said, "Time to wake up Lane. We have to get started. We are going to load some hay first. Then next we are going to milk the cows. Then just maybe I might give you a break. Maybe."

Lois grumbled, "All right, all right, Smallville I'm up. You don't have to make so much noise."

When Lois came down the stairs, she was wearing a white spaghetti-strapped shirt and blue jeans. She realized that Clark had on a white tee and blue jeans.

"Hey we are dressed alike Kent. Well how do you like that?" Lois said laughing.

"Ha ha funny. Let's get a move on. I want to get finished before lunch." Clark said while heading outside.

"Fine! I was just trying to make a joke," Lois mumbled.

When they arrived at the barn Lois recoiled. "No way am I loading that much hay!"

"Don't worry!" Clark said. "I'll be doing most of the work anyway."

Clark jumped up on top of the trailer and said, "Lois do you think you can toss up one of those bales of hay?"

"Of course Clark." How hard could it be Lois thought? She picked up one of the bales of hay and promptly dropped it. Man, these things are heavy.

"A little bit weak aren't we Lois?"

"Shut up Kent!"

Finally they got finished with loading the hay so then they went to the pasture where the cows were. The cows were grazing so Clark went and fetched one of the cows.

"If you can milk one of these cows I will let you go take a shower, and I will treat you to a cup of coffee at the Talon." Clark said.

"You are so on Smallville! So where do I milk the cow at?"

Oh my God! She can't even milk a cow. "Where do you think you milk them at?"

"Is it on them hangy down thingies? What do you call them? Oh yes, utters?"

"Yep you just take one and pull it down and then let it go and pull another one, etc."

"Wow this is easy Smallville!"

"It sure is Lane. I am surprised I had to tell you how to do it?"

All of a sudden a malicious smile appeared on Lois's face. She grabbed one of the utters on the cow and aimed it at Clark, who was too busy staring off into to space to realize what Lois was fixing to do. She let the milk take to the air!

"Uhhh Lois what are you doing?"

"Having a little fun! What do you think?"

"Go take a shower so I can put another shirt on. Uhhh!"

Lois laughed all the way up into the house. She picked out a pink sleeveless shirt and a pair of blue jean shorts. She made her way into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She reveled in the hot spray. Her aching joints felt so much better. After she had washed her hair and bathed, she got out of the shower.

She put on her clothes and made her way back into Clark's bedroom where she stopped in the doorway to gaze at a shirtless Clark who was putting a navy blue long sleeve button up shirt on. Oh my God! He is so fine. Clark just put his shirt on and went out the bedroom door mumbling, "Sorry!"

She sprayed on some perfume and slipped on her shoes and yelled," I'm ready to go!"

Clark locked the door behind them as they made their way to his truck. When they arrived at the Talon, Lana was just then seating a table of four. Lana gazed at the couple and wished that she could be Lois right then. She gasped when she realized that Lois was wearing pink. That is my color bitch!

Lana walked to the other side of the room and didn't even bother to come over and say hello.

Clark went over and gave their order to the guy at the counter. A plain black coffee for him and a white chocolate cappuccino for Lois. When he returned with the drinks Lois smiled at him and said, "I worship you! You are next to God on my list because you bring me coffee. I love you."

" Lois do you think you can stand my boring life for another hour or so before we go to Lex's party?"

"I didn't know about a party. When?"

"Tonight at eight. He is recreating New Year's Eve so when it turns midnight you have to kiss the person you are standing closest too. It is also a costume party. Costumes are required."

"Do you know what you are going as?"

"Nope I guess I will have to figure it out by then won't I?"

"Yep but I have the perfect costume?" It is going to be designed to knock your socks off Smallville so better watch out. Your mouth is going to hit the floor. I definitely can't wait for the party tonight. I have got to make sure Clark is the one I kiss at midnight. This is going to be one party Clark or me are never going to forget.

A/N: So, how do you like it so far guys? Am I doing okay? If you have any suggestions please tell me. Or any things that you want me to add. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.


	3. Lex's Bad Ass Party

Lex's Bad Ass Party

Disclaimer: Sorry, I haven't posted one before guys. I don't own anything pertaining to Smallville.

When Clark walked in the door his mom called out," Someone left a package for you on the doorstep. I laid it in your room for you."

"Thanks, Mom." Clark called while walking up to his room.

When Clark arrived in his room he saw that the package was long and rectangular. "Hmm, I wonder what this is?"

He opened up the package and gasped. He started laughing and then said," Hell yeah. I don't have to buy a costume." Clark noticed that there was a little note attached to his costume. It read:

_This note tells you what the costume is supposed to be just in case you don't know already. You are supposed to be a bad ass in good clothing. Wear all garments and accessories. By the way, I sent everyone a costume so don't' worry you are not the only one I decided to send one too._

_Hope you have fun at the party,_

_Lex_

Clark thought," Well I might as well get ready for the party."

The party was in full swing when Clark walked in the door.

All of a sudden he saw a blonde bombshell walk towards him.

"Chloe!" he exclaimed.

"Hey, Clark," she replied.

Chloe's hair was wavy, but it was pulled up into a high up-do with a couple of waves falling down. She had on thin, black, wire-framed glasses. She had on a white button-up shirt that was rolled up to her elbows and a tight, black knee-length skirt with high black heels.

"What are you supposed to be Chlo?" Clark asked.

"A classy reporter. At least that is what my note says." Chloe replied. "How about you?"

Clark was wearing tight stone-washed blue jeans with a black button-up shirt rolled to his elbows with a red t-shirt underneath it. He was also wearing a thin black belt with a red jewel in the buckle.

" I will just let you guess Chloe. A guy has got to have some secrets." Clark said.

"Ha ha very funny. Have you seen Lex and Lana yet. Lex is dressed as a suave businessman in a tux. Well what do you know he dressed as himself. Lana is dressed as a princess. Big surprise! She is wearing a pink spaghetti-strapped dress. Another big surprise. She also has her hair up. I haven't seen Lois yet. Have you?" Chloe asked.

"N-" Clark began but was cut off by a stunning vision coming towards them. "Damn, I never thought Lois could be that hot!"

Lois was dressed to kill in a spaghetti-strapped red dress that came down into a V in the front and ended at mid-thigh. She had _Screw Me _red high heels on and her hair was curly and hanging free. As for the _screw me _heels he would be happy to oblige.

Lois was having mostly the same thoughts about Clark. "Wow Smallville sure cleans up nicely. You can see his powerful thighs through his blue jeans and his nice muscles through his tight shirts. Damn! I need some water."

"So Lois, what are you supposed to be? Hell on heels." Clark asked.

"Ha Ha, funny Smallville. What are you supposed to be? A model. Oops I forgot you actually have to be hot for that. My bad." Lois shot back.

"Stop bickering you two and just have a good time." Chloe said.

"Well, It is going to be hard to do that since Smallville is here, but I will try."

Lois and Clark glared at each other while thinking about how hot each other was at the same time.

"So what are you supposed to be really Lois. A seductress?" Chloe asked.

"No apparently I am supposed to be Lust. As if it was a real person."

Clark thought, " Well I can see why they chose that costume for her. She could inspire lust in anybody."

While Clark, Chloe, and Lois talked some evil debauchery was occurring elsewhere in the castle.

8 8

One of Lex's servants Max was giggling crazily. "I will teach old Luthor that he can't fire me. I am too important."

As he said that a fire burned in the fire place and Max through some green dust into it and laughed. " We will see how Luthor feels after his party when at midnight everyone starts acting like the person or thing they are dressed like until dawn and no one can leave the house. Heh Heh Heh!

At precisely that instant the clock struck twelve and chimed twelve times.

Then chaos reigned.

A/N. Sorry for the cliffhanger guys. Just to give you a preview picture lustful Lois and Red K Clark. I really appreciate all the reviews. Also to let you know, when I post the next chapter it will start with Lois and Clark about five minutes before the clock chimes. Thanks for reading and please review. Love ya,

Ashton


	4. Let the Fun Begin

**Let the Fun Begin**

Lois, Clark, and Chloe were all standing around laughing when Lex announced, "Midnight will be here in a couple of minutes guys. Hope you are ready to kiss your partner!"

"Uh, I think I am going to see what Pete is doing you guys. See you later." Chloe said while backtracking away from the Lois and Clark.

" I can't believe that she just dissed us like that Clark." Lois said.

"You do know what you are supposed to do on the twelfth stroke of midnight don't you Clark?"

"Uhm, kiss you?"

"Yea that is what usually happens is you kiss somebody but if you put your lips anywhere near mine then let's just say that you will hope and pray that you will still be able to have kids after I am done with you." Lois said

All of a sudden the clock began to strike midnight. A big whoop came up from the crowd. Then a purplish light began to shine down on everybody.

"What the hell is going on?" was Lois's last thought before she fell down in a dead faint.

"Ugh!" Lois groaned when she picked herself up off of the floor a couple of minutes later. "What the hell happened?"

" Well looks to me like heaven just decided to send me an angel." a sexy voice behind Lois uttered.

Lois turned around and stared. Clark was standing right behind her but then again it wasn't Clark. There was something different about him that she couldn't put her hands on.

Then, all of a sudden, it seemed like some spirit had inhibited Lois.

"Well I will be your angel if you will be my bitch!"

Clark raised his eyebrows in response. This wasn't the Lois that he knows. The Lois that he knew would probably say," Yeah but I am not an angel from heaven I am Hell's Angel and I am here to give you hell."

Clark decided to take advantage of the New Lois. So he asked, "Do you want to go for a ride"

Lois said, "Only if it is one top of you."

"Cute," Clark said. "Anytime."

"Well then what are we waiting for let's go." Said Lois.

They went to the door where they saw a big, hulky bodyguard. He said, "I'm sorry, but the boss said no one gets out of here until one."

"Well we are leaving so unless you want to see your life flash before your eyes then you better move," Clark said.

The bodyguard just laughed and grinned. He wasn't laughing for long, especially when Clark threw him across the room. Lois laughed.

Clark then escorted Lois out of the mansion and they headed off to have some fun.

About thirty minutes later Lois and Clark stumbled into the Kent's barn. They had been out partying and drinking.

All of a sudden Lois said, "Want to have some real fun Smallville."

"Hell yeah!" Clark said.

"Okay then let's play strip poker," said Lois.

Clark readily agreed.

About five minutes later all that remained on Clark was his boxers. "Damn, Lois," Clark said, " How did you get so good at this game."

"Lots and lots of practice Smallville. I have a feeling I am about to get lucky. A full house Farm Boy. Take it all off!"

Clark began to grin and he slid his thumbs underneath the elastic of his boxers, which surprise surprise were plaid. He began to slowly pull them off. Lois began getting fidgety. "Hurry up Smallville, I am going to be old and gray by the time you take them off. Let's see the goodies."

All of a sudden the same purplish light that we saw before came down and enveloped the two in its mist. As soon as Clark's boxers hit the floor so did the bodies of the two teens.

Clark woke up with a killer headache. "Where am I?" he asked himself. When he tried to sit up he felt a sharp pain in his side. "Well I guess I know I am not in my bed." He began to look around. He realized that he was in his barn. He also realized that he was feeling a slight breeze coming hitting something that it shouldn't and he looked down and his eyes bulged out.

"Oh my god! How in the hell did I get naked?"

"That is what I want to know Smallville."

Clark jerked his head around and stared. There sat Lois in a fiery red dress. She was smirking at him. "Guess what they say about guys having a hard on in the morning is true."

Clark groaned and pulled his boxers on. "I will never get drunk again."

"How do you know you were drunk?" Lois asked.

"Because I would have to have been to sleep anywhere near you."

"Ha Ha very funny. You must not have been too drunk. You weren't drunk enough to keep from showing me Clark Junior. You also woke up happy this morning if you know what I mean so you must have liked sleeping near me."

"Don't even talk to me Lois." Clark said as he exited the barn.

A/N: Help guys I don't know where to go from here. Any suggestions?


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